Monday, March 3, 2008

Rule number one: Never get eaten during foreplay

Dear Dr. Tatiana,

I'm a European praying mantis, and I've noticed I enjoy sex more if I bite my lovers' heads off first. It's because when I decapitate them they go into the most thrilling spasms. Somehow they seem less inhibited, more urgent - it's fabulous. Do you find this too?

I Like 'Em Headless in Lisbon

Males of your species are boring lovers. Beheading them works wonders: whereas a headless chicken rushes wildly about, a headless mantis thrashes in a sexual frenzy. Why can't he be that way when he's whole? Well, it's hard to have wild sex if you're trying to keep your head.

A male praying mantis is in danger during his approach and his departure, but while he's actually on your back-the position in which intact males have sex- you cannot attack him. However, you do not need him intact to have sex with him. If you rip his head off on the approach, his body will go into spasms that allow his genitalia to connect with yours. Unsurprisingly, though, he does not want to have his head removed. Put yourself in his place - you'd be trembling to the tips of your antennae.

(From Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to all Creation)

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