A new study has revealed the painfully scandalous anatomy of C. maculatus seed beetles. The C. maculatus have a series of spikes and barbs on their members that, during sex, become embedded in their mates, acting as anchors of sorts.
"They literally injure females internally in their copulatory duct. They're pretty mean," Goran Arnqvist, the lead author of the study, said to National Geographic.
After looking at a large group of diverse, virgin beetles after copulation the study concluded that the beetles with the "largest and most damaging" phalluses had the most reproductive success. The injury to the females was simply an "unfortunate side effect" of the process.
At this point, I will use what little class I have to bite my tongue.
Above: a seed beetle's jaw-like spine structure on its appendage.